Things I have always wanted and still want to do in life?

Simplest desires: Think, solve, create/design, write, read, see

What I want to experience: total conviction, resolve, faith, joy of patience

Clear and Present:

To have character, that brings displine and faith and patience
To not lie
To solve problems with joy
To contemplate and meditate
To write with joy
To read with joy
To be brave and do it despite the high probability of failure.

My oldest desires

Understanding (back then, everything was phyiscal and mathematical)
To be a mathematician who has tasted joy.
To write in a way that no adjectives may justify.
To think deeply till I find the thoughts from the fiber of existence

Desires I have now

Understanding, and what's more, the joy of understanding.
Since understanding may never happen: The indomitable spirit to understand
To contemplate in silence and peace
To not be distracted by short-term gratifications
To not be distracted by long-term vain desires
To find the discipline and faith and the courage to risk it all
To solve problems with joy
To work on a deep, expansive and contrived project that is unique in human experience